A dating app that just shows the last 5 articles the other person shared on social media.
— Tim Federle (@TimFederle) October 29, 2015
My boyfriend doesn’t seem to like it when I refer to him as a love interest introduced in my 23rd season to drive up ratings.
— Tim Helbig (@RaginBotanist) December 13, 2014
*matches with cute girl on tinder*
her: helllo! who’s the guy in your 3rd picture he’s cute.
*unmatches cute girl on tinder*
— Brennen Taylor ð (@BrennenTaylor) September 30, 2016
2006: what’s ur number? let’s hang out sometime
2016: what’s ur snapchat? let’s pretend we’re dogs
— ðð®ð¸ð² ð (@YourTextSpoken) September 30, 2016
Just when I started to feel like being single wasn’t that lonely…; pic.twitter.com/Q2JH2pEKwm
— sarah croce ð (@sarahcroce) March 9, 2016
am i even a millennial if i don’t have access to an ex’s netflix account?
— Natalya Lobanova (@NatalyaLobanova) August 30, 2016
Saying “I love you” for the first time is like guessing the wifi password for someone’s heart
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 8, 2014
Dude I matched with on tinder is 1 table over at the cheesecake factory and keeps staring at me pic.twitter.com/OPinGJskpr
— FUBU ON REPEAT (@jodecicry) September 5, 2016
The greatest sign of doom for millennial dating is boys asking for Snapchat names before phone numbers ððð¼
— Nicole Krasean (@NicoleKrasean) September 5, 2016
The ‘games’ folder on my phone is just all dating apps…;a memoir
— Stevie (@stevieboebi) August 22, 2016
I only want to be in a relationship so that there’s always someone there to take a picture of me
— Brendan Scannell (@BrendanScannell) September 5, 2016
Let’s stop beating around the bush. Your cellphone case is cute, my cellphone case is cute, lets put our phones together so they can kiss.
— Ride Matt Bicycle (@MattBennett) September 4, 2016
“Boyfriend” is so aggressive, but “significant other” sounds like you’re hard banging a squid person.
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) September 1, 2016
The only reason I would ever even consider getting married is for the amount of Likes I would get on my Facebook update.
— jared oban (@jaredoban) December 30, 2014